October 18, 2004
Hack Writers, Start Your Puns


Tomorrow, NBC premieres the latest entry in the decline of Western Civilization Reality TV genre, The Biggest Loser in which some people do something to win some money or maybe something else. It's gonna be awesome—or something.

Since most TV critics are filing their reviews with their editors right about now, I thought I'd offer them some help with their inevitable shitty puns and fat jokes. Feel free to use any of the following phrases in your articles or headlines, or um, become a better writer:

·Fat Tuesday
·Weighty Matter
·Light-Weight Entertainment
·Thick as Thieves
·The Weight Is Over
·Big Men and Women on Campus
·Fat of the Land
·Big, Fat Obnoxious [Anything]
·Big, Fat Hit
·Weighed Down
·Well-Rounded Cast
·Fatty Ass-heads
·Must Eat TV
·Hungry for Ratings
·Fat Chance
·Battle of the Bulge
·Thin Premise
·Fat Sells
·Big Competition
·Chubby Reign
·Waist of Airtime
·Devouring the Competition
·Chewing the Scenery
·Broad Humor
·The Thickest Link
·Livin' Large
·Large and in Charge
·Wide Margin
·Fat of the Land
·Morbidly [Anything]

Posted in a Shallow fashion.

Other Recent Items of Interest:

Make our "team" part of your "team"
jean-paul tremblayJean-Paul Tremblay written-ed, directed and co-produced a bunch of so-called "comedy" and "video" content, is notoriously competitive, and nonetheless settles for bottom-tier tokenism. Repped by John Herndon at Grape Dope Entertainment. Thrill jockey!
matt haberMatt Haber has written for The New York Times, Esquire, and The New York Observer. He is not allergic to pet dander and can do "ethnic" accents if the part calls for it. He is repped by Candy Addams at Entertainment 4-Every-1. Feeling special?
Guy Cimbalo is so cute! Yes, he is. Who's a cute little Guy? You are, you are! Guy's our very own star of stage and screen and is repped by Jeff Kwatinetz at The Firm. Rowr!
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