January 14, 2004
Movies for Dumb Kids


low culture's Special Education and Popular Culture Correspondent Nikki logs this report:

"In the high-stakes heist at the heart of The Perfect Score, due in theaters Jan. 30, six young thieves conspire to steal the biggest prize of all: the answers to the SAT."— USA Today, Jan. 13, 2004

Tagline: "The SAT is hard to take. It's even harder to steal."

Other films coming soon:

The Queens Regents (alternate title, Bored of Regents):
Six 9th graders in Astoria conspire to steal the answers to the English Regents exam.
Tagline: "Pass the tzatziki, son. And pass the Regents exam."

It's Elementary:
Six 2nd graders conspire to steal the answers to the Stanford Achievement Test.
Tagline: "All they wanted was a 6th-grade reading level."

My Big Fat Jewish Bar Mitzvah:
A 13-year-old Jewish boy hires his cousin to write his Bar Mitzvah speech for him.
Tagline: "He thanked God, Rabbi Lonstein, his parents—but most of all, his
cousin Jeff."

A Tale of Two Two Year Olds:
Dramatization of the Jack Grubman/92nd St. Y scandal.
Tagline: "It's fun to stay at the YMHA, but first you have to get in."

Rainbows and Waterfalls:
Little Michael's IQ test score was good... not good for his mother—Susan Smith.
Tagline: "Getting away with murder is even harder than getting into

Posted in a Satirical, Shallow fashion.

Other Recent Items of Interest:

Make our "team" part of your "team"
jean-paul tremblayJean-Paul Tremblay written-ed, directed and co-produced a bunch of so-called "comedy" and "video" content, is notoriously competitive, and nonetheless settles for bottom-tier tokenism. Repped by John Herndon at Grape Dope Entertainment. Thrill jockey!
matt haberMatt Haber has written for The New York Times, Esquire, and The New York Observer. He is not allergic to pet dander and can do "ethnic" accents if the part calls for it. He is repped by Candy Addams at Entertainment 4-Every-1. Feeling special?
Guy Cimbalo is so cute! Yes, he is. Who's a cute little Guy? You are, you are! Guy's our very own star of stage and screen and is repped by Jeff Kwatinetz at The Firm. Rowr!
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