November 7, 2003
Fanboy and Zooey

zooey-elvis02.jpgFinally, the higher-ups at the New York Times have put a journalistic restraining order on film critic Elvis Mitchell and his unabashed adoration for Zooey Deschanel, a perpetually rising star who has appeared in films such as Almost Famous and David Gordon Green's elegiac All the Real Girls.

Poor, poor Elvis. The paper has given today's review of the new release Elf to A.O. Scott, so it appears as though readers will miss out on Mitchell's customarily superlative (and well-nigh stalker-esque) praise of Ms. Deschanel.

Here's a sampling of laudatory comments culled from the Mitchell/Deschanel archives:

Elvis reviewing The Good Girl by Miguel Arteta and Mike White:

"Ms. Deschanel, who alone is one of the best reasons to go to the movies these days, takes her few lines and sprinkles them through her scenes like fairy dust. This makes sense, because she's intensely pixilated -- a devil doll with a hunger for mischief."

Elvis reviewing The New Guy:

"The able cast also includes the protean young actress Zooey Deschanel, who has yet to give a bad performance in her brief career, as one of Diz's pals. (She and Mr. Qualls worked together in ''Big Trouble.'')...She's so good that you'll wonder if ''The New Guy'' will stay on her rsum as she gets better work."

Elvis reviewing Abandon, the disastrously bad Katie Holmes flick:

"'Abandon' features another score by a winning young actress who seems incapable of making a wrong move. But it's not by the star of the picture. That notable performance comes from the capable Zooey Deschanel playing a supporting role as a pleasure seeker with a quick, unembarrassed smile and a way with a line that takes the sting out of an insult -- almost. She and several other actors almost rescue the meagerly plotted 'Abandon' -- a picture so moody that physicians might want to prescribe Prozac for it."

For all of Mitchell's praise of Ms. Deschanel, we're nonetheless concerned for her well-being. You may be able to take Zooey from Elvis, but you can't take Zooey from the Times' other hot-blooded males:

Here's fourth-tier critic Dave Kehr reviewing Manic:

"'For all of his uncontrollable inner violence, Lyle is attracted to the painfully shy, withdrawn Tracy (the superb Zooey Deschanel)...Ms. Deschanel, in a role filmed before her glowing work in ''The Good Girl'' and ''All the Real Girls,'' is particularly spontaneous, unaffected and emotionally direct."

Oh, and today's review of Elf by A.O. Scott? There's really no escaping the plaudits:

"Cutting through the sugar like a bracing dash of lemon juice is Zooey Deschanel, playing Jovie, an elf-for-hire at Gimbels, where Buddy stumbles into a job. Ms. Deschanel's extra-wide eyes and delicately pointy nose and chin give her face an elfin cast to begin with, and she is as plausible a love interest as a character as fundamentally sexless as Buddy could hope to have. He cheers her up, she calms him down, and together they manage to be sincere, cool and winningly goofy at the same time."

Fanboys abound! Bill Keller, please...bring Janet Maslin back.

Posted in a Shallow fashion.

Other Recent Items of Interest:

Make our "team" part of your "team"
jean-paul tremblayJean-Paul Tremblay written-ed, directed and co-produced a bunch of so-called "comedy" and "video" content, is notoriously competitive, and nonetheless settles for bottom-tier tokenism. Repped by John Herndon at Grape Dope Entertainment. Thrill jockey!
matt haberMatt Haber has written for The New York Times, Esquire, and The New York Observer. He is not allergic to pet dander and can do "ethnic" accents if the part calls for it. He is repped by Candy Addams at Entertainment 4-Every-1. Feeling special?
Guy Cimbalo is so cute! Yes, he is. Who's a cute little Guy? You are, you are! Guy's our very own star of stage and screen and is repped by Jeff Kwatinetz at The Firm. Rowr!
What "They" Say About "Us"

"Humor so black you're afraid to laugh." - Playboy

"Low Culture gets more mileage out of headlines and photo captions than most blogs get out of endless pages of text." - The Week

"No irony slips past Low Culture." - Daniel Radosh

"what's happened to this site? it used to be one of my favorites. now there are never new posts and when there are it's bloodied and dismembered dead bodies... grave, indeed." - Some Guy Named Tim

"I don't get it." - Some Person Calling Him-/Herself "Cubeoid"

Text Ads, our nod to the Plebes
or, "Fun with Adblockers"

Recent Artifacts

The Archive Office (Front Desk)

Additional Information
Looking for an RSS Feed, or want to syndicate this site? Click here for that purpose.

Some of our older readers may be asking, "Whatever happened to that 'famous' two-column, Shallow and Grave-formatted version of Low Culture?" Rest assured, we've archived that motherfucker here.

This here site, though, was built and crafted by none other than Low Culture Design & Media Mega-Powerhouse HQ.