October 24, 2003
Spinning as Fast as I can

Keith J. Kelly (who's right more often than he's glaringly, egregiously wrong) reports in today's New York Post that former Bush administration press secretary Ari "I am Jeff Zucker's twin" Fleischer has inked a $500,000 book deal for his White House memoirs with William Morrow, a subsidiary of News, Corporation. ("It's The Devil Wears Prada without the Prada, but with the real devil!" the proposal may have read.) Keith's short on data, but we get this:
Fleischer did not circulate a book proposal, as is the norm for authors—especially first-time authors. Some thought that his former bosses may have encouraged him to put it out in 2005 to guarantee that nothing blows up during the 2004 presidential campaign.
What is not included, however, is the book's title. So, as a favor to my landsman Fleischer, I'd like to suggest these titles:
The Only Jew in the Room: My Years in the Bush Cabinet
White Fish on White Bread: A White House Memoir
The Art of the Spin: How to Lie to Almost Anyone about Almost Anything
Yes I Can: My Years as the Token Minority Among Open Racists (Woops, that's already the title of Sammy Davis, Jr.'s memoir.)
No, Sir, I'm Not Offended: How I Survived Repeated Anti-Semtic Jibes At the Hands of Some of the Meanest S.O.B.'s You Ever Met

Side bar: Hey, all you kids with lush, thick hair. You probably laugh at Ari's shiny pate, but this is how homeboy looked in high school.

Posted in a Shallow fashion.

Other Recent Items of Interest:

Make our "team" part of your "team"
jean-paul tremblayJean-Paul Tremblay written-ed, directed and co-produced a bunch of so-called "comedy" and "video" content, is notoriously competitive, and nonetheless settles for bottom-tier tokenism. Repped by John Herndon at Grape Dope Entertainment. Thrill jockey!
matt haberMatt Haber has written for The New York Times, Esquire, and The New York Observer. He is not allergic to pet dander and can do "ethnic" accents if the part calls for it. He is repped by Candy Addams at Entertainment 4-Every-1. Feeling special?
Guy Cimbalo is so cute! Yes, he is. Who's a cute little Guy? You are, you are! Guy's our very own star of stage and screen and is repped by Jeff Kwatinetz at The Firm. Rowr!
What "They" Say About "Us"

"Humor so black you're afraid to laugh." - Playboy

"Low Culture gets more mileage out of headlines and photo captions than most blogs get out of endless pages of text." - The Week

"No irony slips past Low Culture." - Daniel Radosh

"what's happened to this site? it used to be one of my favorites. now there are never new posts and when there are it's bloodied and dismembered dead bodies... grave, indeed." - Some Guy Named Tim

"I don't get it." - Some Person Calling Him-/Herself "Cubeoid"

Text Ads, our nod to the Plebes
or, "Fun with Adblockers"

Recent Artifacts

The Archive Office (Front Desk)

Additional Information
Looking for an RSS Feed, or want to syndicate this site? Click here for that purpose.

Some of our older readers may be asking, "Whatever happened to that 'famous' two-column, Shallow and Grave-formatted version of Low Culture?" Rest assured, we've archived that motherfucker here.

This here site, though, was built and crafted by none other than Low Culture Design & Media Mega-Powerhouse HQ.