March 16, 2005
Let's Talk About Sex!

Hey party people - Miranda here, ready to answer all those embarrassing questions you might have about you know what. You know, it. So without further ado, let's get down to it...

Dear Miranda,
My boyfriend isn't circumcised and it kind of creeps me out. What can I do to get over it?

Dear Skeeved,
Isn't it liberating to talk about sex like this? Getting your problems out in the open can really put things in perspective.

So don't worry! You're not the only one who thinks Abraham and God had the right idea with that whole covenant thing - foreskins also creep me out. I have to admit balls kind of creep me out too. I still don't have an effective technique to get around my testicular trepidation, so I asked an expert, Dr. Nancy Ambergris, author of Getting the Shaft: A Modern Girl's Guide to Fellatio.

"Miranda," Dr. Ambergris explained to me, Miranda, "that's an age-old problem. And aside from holding your breath, closing your eyes and thinking of something else (like the Hamptons), there's not much option. Of course, depending on Skeeved's commitment level with her boyfriend, she could always start dating someone else."

So there it is, kids, advice from the experts. Keep your questions coming!

Posted in a Shallow fashion.

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