Ha ha! It’s so funny when politicians pretend to have jobs.
Sidebar: Keep your eyes open for Dennis Miller to riff on this photo when his show premieres on Monday. (“Welsey Clark dropped out of the campaign Thursday and returned to his day job…” “General Wesley Clark attempts to skirt the McCain-Feingold regulations with a soft money donation… Hey, I’m still relevant, cha-chi! Did I tell you I starred in Tales from the Crypt: Bordello of Blood? Helllo? Little help. Anyone?”)
Author: matt
Categories
Catamite Aphrodite?
Michael Jackson to contribute to the soundtrack?
Title: The Manny
Log Line: A young boy masters the art of ridding himself of nanny supervision through a myriad of devilish schemes. He meets his match when a well intentioned and seemingly disaster proof male nanny proves harder to get rid of than any he has had before.
Writer: David Berenbaum
Agent: William Morris Agency
Buyer: Paramount Pictures
Price: n/a
Genre: Comedy
Logged: 1/22/04
More: Guy Walks Into a Bar’s Jon Berg and Todd Komarnicki will produce. Kira Goldberg will co-produce.
[From today’s Done Deal]
PLUS: Who the fuck is Jennifer Lopez?
Elmo, 2004…. Liz Taylor and Richard Burton, 1963
The End.
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Parsley, Sage, Rosemary, and Weed
Art Garfunkel arrested on marijuana charge
HURLEY, N.Y.—Art Garfunkel, part of the folk music duo Simon and Garfunkel, was charged with marijuana possession after police pulled his limousine over for speeding in upstate New York.
Garfunkel, 62, had a small amount of marijuana in his jacket pocket when a state trooper stopped the limo Saturday afternoon in Hurley, 55 miles southwest of Albany, the Daily Freeman of Kingston reported.
The trooper smelled marijuana after approaching the vehicle, in which Garfunkel was the lone passenger.
He was just smoking back-up for Paul Simon.
None of this would’ve happened had he just forsaken that damn limo and kept on walking .
Related: No one ever mentions that Art Garfunkel did some pretty good acting work. He was great in Carnal Knowledge as the winsome Sandy against Jack Nicholson‘s fulsome John and he was decent as Nately in Catch-22.
Michelangelo Signorile brings the gay fire and brimstone down on Veep daughter Mary Cheney in this week’s New York Press. Calling Mary out for not speaking out against her father’s (and his proxy, the President’s) retrosexual anti-gay politics, Signorile turns in this phrase, which is sure to set off all sorts Google hits for The Press (and, regrettably, for us):
“So let’s get to the point: What the hell happened to you? Are you just another spoiled rich brat—the lesbian Paris Hilton—worried about getting a chunk of those 30 million Halliburton bucks should Dad’s heart conk out?”
Maybe those intrepid surfers who find the article quite by accident (Hello, Mr. Denby!) will put their hands to better use and write a letter to their Congressman or woman against this proposal.
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Pee-Wee Presents… Clones
How psyched was I that Paper Magazine decided to buck newsstand trends and go with a coverboy who’s not only not promoting some new piece of shit project, but who also has the distinction of being so uncool he’s positively cool?
It’s heartening in this day and age of publicist-driven entertainment coverage to see a magazine stick its collective neck out and put someone on the cover like Paul Reubens, AKA Pee-Wee Herman. This one’s not for the trendsetters: it’s for the fans, man!
I didn’t pick the issue up, so I don’t know if they talk to him about his voice over work in Disney‘s new film, Teacher’s Pet, but who care, right? It’s Pee-Wee friggin’ Herman, and he’s awesome!
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Capturing the Shopsins
Our big cool (imaginary) friend Elvis Mitchell reports from Park City about I Like Killing Flies, a film we mentioned a few weeks back. (On the Menu at Sundance: Quirky Chef and Dancers, The New York Times, Jan. 21, 2004)
Here’s director Matt Mahurin on his star: “Kenny would be pontificating about his ideas about life and death and sex and politics and even food… And when you went in, you would enter whatever family drama was going on that day.”
Check out the last few anonymous comments attached to our original Flies piece to see one person who’ll definitely skip this film.
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Psychotic Break
Like the late great Nell Carter before him, ABC News‘s mustachioed muckraker John Stossel wants us to Give [‘im] a break!
His new book, available at your local airport newsstand, right next to Bill O’Reilly’s Horton Hears a Who’s Looking Out For You, is modestly entitled Give Me a Break : How I Exposed Hucksters, Cheats, and Scam Artists and Became the Scourge of the Liberal Media….
Lifting a page from Spike Lee and Ralph Wiley’s By Any Means Necessary: The Trials and Tribulations of the Making of Malcolm X…, Stossel’s elliptical title continues inside of the book: “With a Million Motherfuckers Against Me.”
Since Stossel “hate[s] waiting around time” (“Please do not make me wait unnecessarily”) here’s my super-speedy impression of the book: crap.
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But did she save Latin?
Max (Jason Schwartzman) and Amy: neither one of them has the slightest idea where this relationship is going.
The Onion A.V. Club‘s Nathan Rabin interviews the hilarious and lovely Amy Sedaris this week.
Since Amy (along with collaborators Stephen Colbert, Paul Dinello, and Mitch Rouse) created one of the most pathetic losers ever to (re-)attend high school, it’s interesting to catch a glimpse of her own school days:
O: What was your high-school experience like?
AS: I wasn’t a cliquey person, and I think that’s because I came from a large family. I got along with everybody, and I usually got along with the people that people didn’t like. I always liked my teachers, and I was in a lot of after-school projects. I was a Girl Scout until my senior year, when I couldn’t be a Girl Scout anymore. I was in clubs like Junior Achievement, and I ran track and field. My grades were good, but then toward 11th grade they were nothing. I always went to summer school.
She sounds like a regular old Max Fischer, huh? The only thing missing is the little one-act play about Watergate.
Related: Max Fischer grew up to become Joel Stein, right? Sic transit gloria, indeed.