April 19, 2005
Big business, bigger humanity...which means we're the biggest motherfuckers around


Yesterday, as Adobe Systems announced the acquisition of Macromedia, the primary reason for the merger of these onetime-rival multimedia software titans soon became clear: terrorism. Yes, terrorterrorterrorterroreconomyterror.

News reports clarified this stance:

"After 9/11, we both realized that being enemies didn't make sense," Adobe CEO Bruce Chizen said in a conference call on Monday, referring to his discussions with Macromedia's then-CEO Rob Burgess. "We were no longer competing."

And in other coverage of the merger/acqusition, Chizen continued with his moving paean to an American tragedy, but this one a bit more "economic" in nature:

He acknowledged that combining the companies will lead to some lost jobs, but would not provide details.

"There will be some areas of redundancies, and that's where there will be some layoffs," Chizen said. "It will be difficult to quantify that until we get in and look at the integration."

A loss of lives, a loss of jobs...what's the big deal? We're all good people here. Working to overcome tyranny by making web-safe graphics. Annihilating the enemies of freedom by distributing American propaganda as Flash-based short films.

And your pink slips? Now available in the ever-popular PDF document format.

Posted in a Grave fashion.

Other Recent Items of Interest:

Make our "team" part of your "team"
jean-paul tremblayJean-Paul Tremblay written-ed, directed and co-produced a bunch of so-called "comedy" and "video" content, is notoriously competitive, and nonetheless settles for bottom-tier tokenism. Repped by John Herndon at Grape Dope Entertainment. Thrill jockey!
matt haberMatt Haber has written for The New York Times, Esquire, and The New York Observer. He is not allergic to pet dander and can do "ethnic" accents if the part calls for it. He is repped by Candy Addams at Entertainment 4-Every-1. Feeling special?
Guy Cimbalo is so cute! Yes, he is. Who's a cute little Guy? You are, you are! Guy's our very own star of stage and screen and is repped by Jeff Kwatinetz at The Firm. Rowr!
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