March 22, 2005
Sixty-Nine Love Songs (Or, "Pat O'Brien's Awesome Rehab Playlist")

Featuring "Honey, Just Allow Me One More Chance (To Eat Your Ass)."

By now you've probably heard Insider host Pat O'Brien's latest release: nearly five and a half minutes of repetitive, profanity-laced nasal sex talk with occasional music. Naughty, nasty stuff. Frankly, I can't believe he kisses George Clooney's ass with that mouth.

You probably also know that this Internet-only single has landed him where countless artists have gone before: rehab.

But what you haven't heard is Pat O'Brien's rehab iTunes playlist, which he put together shortly before his twelve step journey. Here's but a small sample:

- "I Wanna Hold Your Hand (And Eat You, If Betsy Says It's Okay)," The Beatles

- "You Can't Always Get What You Want (Even Though You're So Fucking Hot. I'm So Into You)," The Rolling Stones

- "This Love (Plus Some Coke, and Betsy. Let's Get Crazy Together)," Maroon 5

- "Oh, Pretty Woman (I Want to do Everything With You, Eat Your Ass, Everything)," Roy Orbison

- "Baby I'm-a Want You (To Be Into Betsy. You're So Fucking Hot)," Bread

- "Why Can't We Be Friends (With Betsy, Too. I'm So Into You)?," War

- "Don't Speak (Just Give Me a Smile Next Time I See You, You're So Fucking Hot)," No Doubt

- "Pour Some Sugar On Me (And By 'Sugar,' I Mean Coke. I'm So Fucking Into You)," Def Leppard

- "Eat It (And By 'It,' I Mean Your Ass. You're So Hot)," 'Weird Al' Yankovic

Posted in a Shallow fashion.

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