August 12, 2004
In Pompano did Publa Porn, a Portly Pleasure-Dome Decree

Al Goldstein, during his salad—okay, double cheeseburger and fries—days

I usually leave these sorts of high/low literary parodies to the professional, but something about this piece in The New York Times today made me think of a poem I read in high school. (Insert your own "deep romantic chasm" joke here, pervert.)

[Al Goldstein's] company, Milky Way Productions, home of Screw and his long-running cable show, "Midnight Blue," went into bankruptcy last year. His mansion in Pompano Beach, Fla., with the 11-foot statue of a raised middle finger out back, was sold in June to pay debts.

68 and Sleeping on Floor, Ex-Publisher Seeks Work, by Andy Newman, Aug. 12, 2004.

The saddest part is the photo, which doesn't appear online. Goldstein is literally half a man: he must've lost 200 pounds from his stately plump frame. It's like watching Orson Welles turn into Don Knotts in the end. Actually, maybe the "colossal wreck" of Al Goldstein reminds me of another high school-era poem.

Posted in a Shallow fashion.

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