October 9, 2003
Let's get ready to eat freeee shrimp cocktail from Haaaaarvey!

Forgetting everything we all know about crabs in a barrel, David Poland has picked a fight with his fellow online movie and celebrity bottom feeder, Roger Friedman. Here's the tale of the tape:

Battle of the Online Junket All Stars

In the Left Coast corner, weighing in at 155 lbs.: David "Hot Button" Poland.

And in the Right Coast corner, weighing in somewhere north of 225 lbs., Roger "Fox 411" Friedman.

Poland comes out swinging at Roger the Dodger, throwing the first punch:

There are lies, damned lies and statistics. And then there are lies posing as statistics, brought to life by stunning professional ignorance, whether intentional or coincidental. Such is the province of Roger Friedman, internet gossip and a suck-up of the highest order.

In rapid succession, he lands the second:

Friedman goes to town with his unsubstantiated, but "there is no question" analysis of the wins of Oscar screeners past. He starts with Sony Classics, citing Talk To Her, Crouching Tiger, Hidden Dragon and Winged Migration. Can you spot the spin?

And then, he hits below the belt with a phantom punch:

What were the other fat, bloated studio films that dominated the Oscars before Friedman's indie heroes saved the world?

Did he just call Friedman fat and bloated? Tune in tomorrow for Roger's rejoinder.

Posted in a Shallow fashion.

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