14-year old purchases new ‘LFO’ single online, begins bawling

Regrettably, it seems as though "summer girls wearing Abercrombie and Fitch" will inevitably be betrayed by their boy-group popsters, after all. Apparently, Jessica Nordell, a 14-year-old ‘summer girl’ from Akron, Ohio, logged on to CDNow.com last week in hopes of purchasing the season’s hottest song, "Summer Girls," by the latest manifestation of over-commercialized boymania, LFO. The all-boy trio’s name stands for the impossibly endearing "Lyte Funky Ones," but for convenience’s sake pop-radio DJ’s have been referring to them as the abbreviated "LFO" all summer long.

And this is where the conflict arises. As fans of trailblazing electronica undoubtedly already know, "LFO" is and has been the name of one of the UK’s pioneering techno acts since 1990. Fronted by Mark Bell (who also produced Bjork’s latest album) and Gez Varley, LFO is signed to Warp Records in the UK, on which it has released material such as ‘Tied Up’ and ‘Advance’. Neither Mark Bell nor Gez Varley is very cute.

But it seems as though young Jessica, in her haste to snap up the boys’ backcatalogue, saw that CDNow had listed these ‘imports’ by LFO and jumped at the chance of wowing her friends at Lincoln Junior High with what she thought were "unreleased gems by the cutest guys to ever appear on Total Request Live." Of course, tragedy struck when little Jessica received her 3-Day USPS Priority Mail package this past Monday. Inside, she found not the soothing vocal stylings of lead singers Drew and Andy but the meandering bleeps and bloops of "some stupid techno crap." Outraged, her parents contacted the Akron Better Business Bureau and demanded proper recourse.

Despite the offer of the over-hyped but unfortunately under-booked boys of the cuter LFO to perform at Jessica’s big "End of Summer" barbecue (which has become a bit of a tradition in the Nordell household) in an effort to make up for this gross abuse of naming protocol, the Nordells have already arranged for a really cool DJ who has an alternate version of the Macarena in his racks. Both LFO’s offered no comment.

>>> View the gaffe at CDNow