How you, too, can earn a paltry $15 million

RELATED: "US to Pledge $15 Million for Tsunami Aid", and "Powell: U.S. is not 'stingy' when it comes to aid"

ALSO RELATED: The Cost of the War in Iraq, currently hovering around $200 BILLION FUCKING DOLLARS

ALSO, ALSO RELATED: "Julia Roberts: $20 Million Woman?"

ALSO, ALSO, ALSO RELATED: Fuck you, America.

Super Fun "Building Wreckage and Loss-of-Life" Quiz: Evildoers or Act of God?

ANSWER: Act of God, as evidenced by the Indonesian survivors' wearing shorts, which implies some sort of divine justice wreaked upon those enjoying good weather right now

ANSWER: Trick question! Act of God, though manifested in that "terrorists seeking spiritual redemption and/or the annihilation of the West" manner

RELATED: Human tragedy unfolds even further as Czech Supermodel Injured in Tidal Wave, and swimsuit-issue fans collectively wail louder than the deaths of 40,000 people could have ever caused

EARLIER: Super Fun "Military-Incursion Home Destruction" Quiz: Iraq or Palestine? and Super Fun "Ski-Mask-Wearing Iraqis" Quiz: Insurgent or Police Officer?

low culture Exclusive: Christmas at the Rumsfelds'

O, Christmas Tree: The jolly man with the beard said this man was "a bad guy."

Yes, Don and Joyce Rumsfeld had an absolutely stunning tree this year. And the duck was so juicy, it practically melted in your mouth. The party was a lot less crowded than last year—no Powells, no Tenets, no Ashcrofts, or Keriks—but it was wonderful.

Merry Christmas, everyone! And a happy, healthy New Year!

Man, My Parents So Should Have Hired That Caricaturist For My Bar Mitzvah

Demonstrators hold posters of North Korean leader Kim Jong-il (L) and former Chinese leader Jiang Zemin during a rally in front of the Chinese Embassy in Tokyo, December 22, 2004. Demonstrators protested against China's policy towards North Korean refugees, who face forced repatriation and severe punishment when they return to their impoverished country. [via Reuters]

Does Music Piracy Aid Terrorists?

Yes. Yes, it does.

OK, OK...you're right. Sorry about that bit of woefully-miscontextualized usage of news photography. If you're a stickler for accuracy in reporting, here's the AP's actual take on the events depicted in the above image:

"An Iraqi policeman checks for compact discs made by terrorist groups with instructions on how to make improvised explosive devices in Baghdad Tuesday Dec. 21 2004.In continuing violence, five American soldiers and an Iraqi civilian were wounded when the Humvee they were traveling in was hit by a car bomb near Hawija, some 240 kilometers (150 miles) north of Baghdad, the U.S. military said Tuesday.The bloodshed came a day after Interim Prime Minister Ayad Allawi blamed the upsurge of violence on a campaign by insurgents to foment sectarian civil war as well as derail the legislative elections set for Jan. 30 (AP Photo/Khalid Mohammed)"

This, Of Course, Comes From a Guy Who Got "Gentleman C's" At Yale

"President Bush strongly defended Defense Secretary Donald H. Rumsfeld today, declaring that the Pentagon chief is doing 'a really fine job'..."
-Bush Defends Rumsfeld, Saying He's Doing 'a Really Fine Job', by David Stout, The New York Times, Dec. 2004.

Related: If you google "gentleman C's", almost all the hits are for Bush. Maybe William Safire or Jesse Sheidlower can give us the full etymology.

Portraits of Liberation (from an inexhaustible series, natch)

Because, apparently, Sec. Rumsfeld's usage of an automated-signature device is the single greatest reason to call for his stepping down

From "Grieving Families Outraged over Rumsfeld Condolence Letters", The Christian Broadcasting Network, December 20, 2004:

A deadly weekend in Iraq could spell more trouble ahead for next month's elections. And the President's defense chief is at the center of controversy, this time over condolence letters to families of military soldiers killed in action.

[...]

But relatives of the deceased soldiers, and even some congressional leaders, are outraged that Rumsfeld used a machine to stamp his signature on more than 1,000 letters that have already been mailed.

And now for the completely unanticipated A.P. followup: "Bush Comes to Rumsfeld's Defense"

Thanks Again to Lynndie England, Charles Graner, et. al. for Giving Everyone Who Hates America the Ultimate Christmas (or "Holiday") Present

Image War: Cuban anti-American billboard, as seen by AFP in two, views.

Related: All this over Christmas decorations.

Three Stooges Receive Presidential Medals of Failure

Nyuck, Nyuck, Nyuck: Bremer, Franks, and Tenet.